Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Found the puke drawer
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
