Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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