she smelled like a LAN party
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
