Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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