I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
