I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
