I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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