Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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