ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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