nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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