He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
