Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
