he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
