he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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