So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
