we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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