my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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