do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
