We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
