roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
