check it out our google latitudes are spooning
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Girls should come with a carfax report
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
