She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
