I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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