Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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