Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
