U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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