i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
