dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
