I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We need to rekindle our bromance
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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