3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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