I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I want her autograph on my taint
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
