Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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