yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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