I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize