sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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