I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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