You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
