The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
