Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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