How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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