Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
