she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
