Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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