Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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