Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
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Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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