you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
