his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
