They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
