Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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