Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize