Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
