Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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