Pappa wants mamma naked
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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