Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
