Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
