he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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