i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
