I'm really into asian looking animals
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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