Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
