I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
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